Bulldozed!

human bull dozers exist.
it is a fact.

we have seen them.
been bull dozed by them.
and some of us may even be them.

perhaps it is only my experience, but most bull dozers tend to be middle aged aunties, not more than 5 feet in height. elbowing their way through a crowd with their head ducked low so as to enhance the bull dozer effect, I suppose.

They have a very purposeful look on their face. their eyes fixed on one imaginary point ahead, to which they must reach within seconds.

Upon reaching this imaginary point of course, and having elbowed scores of people in the process, they stand nonchalantly, as if they had been there all along. Their ducked head finds a dancer's height as their noses now reach for the sky in a futile attempt at regaining dignity.

you'd think she's the sweet next-door aunty who smiles and helps little kids along. But then your crushed toes and bruised ribs tell a different story.

here are a few tips on how to avoid the bulldozer

1. look out for sudden and magical separation in crowds. much like moses and the sea. you'll know a bulldozer's heading your way.

2. quickly check the people around you. if there are any middle aged women under 5 feet, try and steer clear of them.

3. look out for anyone with their elbows out. they look a bit like angry chickens out for revenge. also they tend to charge the most when trying to catch a bus or train.

as for me, i'll just buy a relispray. Does that help with bruised ribs?